Anything short of a surprise extension of the Olympics or Cat Ostermann looking to date an accounting major in central KY, and you’ll never see another Olympic-oriented post on this blog until 2010.
Final note, did anyone else know that the people of the media working the Olympics get a genuine bronze medal? I’LL TAKE MY MEDAL NOW, MR. ROGGE.
The Gate’s Blog corporate HQ is in the middle of a move right now. We’re temporarily blogging from a Holiday Inn Express. My first room was occupado’d mid-day while I was at work, so I was bumped into the GIGANTIC handicapped room on the 1st floor. I’m talking a King bed, couches, big TV, and enough room for a beer pong game.
So, if you’re counting, the blog HQ has been in 4 different locales in the past week (’rigg, 2 hotel rooms, apartment). While I was in the apartment today,I hijacked someone else’s wireless signal since my internet hasn’t been installed yet. Jamming a CAT5 cable into a Keystone Light can wasn’t as effective as my Coke can experiment. Without cable, how do I keep myself occupied until someone hires me to handle their money? I found a game that ate up an hour and a half of my day. I reached 600pts before realizing that this game. NEVER. ENDS. It’s a puzzle game, so if it’s 8am when you’re reading this, its a good way to exercise your brain for the day.
A couple days ago, Cole called me with a special request. He asked if he could do a guest-post for the blog. I asked what he wanted to write and he throws me this idea: We always get Rush shirts for men’s rush, something funny and clever. Everyone loves them, but what about the ideas that get rejected?
With school beginning soon and rush retreat this past weekend, the idea was even more fitting. In what I believe will be a 5 part series, Cole will present us with the rejected photoshop ideas. The first edition is an ode to everyone’s least favorite red-head. Click the images for higher-res, and hit “read more” to see the back.
I no longer require your cable services. When you told me ‘electric problems’ were slowing down the installation of my cable and internet, I called shenanigans, but let it go because I knew you weren’t going to do anything about it anyways. However, I have found a replacement for your services in the meantime. I hope to use Sprite and Dr. Pepper for my internet and phone services.
I’m getting better service from a coke can. Game over. Way to fail.
(I’m serious. Without the cable punched into the coke can, I get nothing. With it, I get CBS.)
We all know that some dude won 8 gold medals, the Chinese gymnasts visited some form of Neverland, something like 35+ world records have been broken, wanna-be MILFs won back to back gold in beach volleyball, and the USA track team laid more eggs than a chicken on IOC-banned substances.
But there were a ton of events that you may have missed if you didn’t eat, breathe, and sleep 3600 hrs of Olympic coverage. If your only exposure was through NBC, I feel sorry for you. You received a handicapped, redundant Olympics. Olympic devotion was found through CNBC, MSNBC, USA, and all the online video (you better have watched some handball). Forget the gold medals, the “Redeem Team”, racist pictures, and politics. The interesting side stories made the Olympics the best excuse to not have a job right now. Here’s a countdown of the most interesting happenings/off beat stories that I took note of over the past two weeks.
15) NBC interviewers trying to make athletes cry
Andrea Joyce interviews Alicia Sacramone after her team competition struggles. Asks some bitchy questions, shooting for tears. Another NBC member had a 15 year old diver cry, and a track interviewer tries to land on Water Works while talking to Tyson Gay post-loss.
14) Epic Athletic Performances
The Japanese softball pitcher threw an equivalent of 4 complete games in 2 days to beat the US team and win the Gold medal. South African amputee completes 10,000km (that’s 6.2 miles) swimming marathon. American BMXer dislocates shoulder, but gets on bike and finishes the race anyways.
13) Kerri Walsh loses wedding ring in opening match
Seems minor. “Walsh has dropped her wedding ring in the sand. We’ll take a commercial break while they look for it.” No, they went to videotape review to see where it landed (their coach must have had a spare Chinese flag to call for a replay challenge), and then whipped out metal detectors, and found it 20 minutes after the final match of the session ended… 6 hours after Walsh’s match at 9am.
12) Softball & Baseball has last run in Olympics, have stupid OT rules
These sports were voted out of the Olympics recently. Softball because America dominated everyone so hard, and baseball because MLB isn’t willing to send its best players to play mid-season. They may return in 2016, but hopefully with better overtime rules. Two innings after the last inning, teams placed a runner on 1st and 2nd (but no 2nd for softball) and get to pick where to start their batting line-up. Speeds up the game, but really rattles a pitchers and his control over a game.
11) Boxer bites neck of competitor, Holyfield reportedly was there
It’s not quite like loosing an ear, but a British boxer leaves a Mike Tyson-like mark on his opponent. Luckily for the other guy, he was wearing a mouth guard so its like he only got an Indian burn on his neck. Read more…
To answer Libra’s question about who Bill Brasky (not the newb commenter on all our blogs who got pwnd by Hamby), I thought I’d post the video of one of my favorite SNL skit of all time:
I also heard the bar-burning story about Jon Gray. I have not found conclusive evidence proving Jon Gray is, in fact, not Bill Brasky.
Jennifer Love Hewitt in some recent Health magazine:
“I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great! I so wish I had listened to my mom and grandma when I was 18 and would complain about some little tiny bump or feeling bloated. I used to scoff and say, ‘No, I feel fat today!’ Now the joke’s on me. I want to tell all young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer.”
For only this one situation and against usual conventions held by my friends: THERE’S STILL TIME.
I graduated from college. I’ve done my fair share of stupid things and I have some scars/great stories to prove it. With that said, it would take more than a couple free beers to convince me that this was a great idea.
Videos. Images. Links. Hamby-mockery. If you're looking for an all-encompassing theme here, you fail. There's really nothing that doesn't fit in here at the Gate Blog. Except furries. And Bailey's Irish Creme. If you are either one of the aforementioned, please leave. You make me sick.
